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Is there really such a term as “Rag Sheet” or is it something unique to my hometown?

In any event, it refers to those brightly colored newspapers found near grocery store check out lines (not the black and white ones; they’re not even worth mentioning…) I think there are 3 types of people: those who never buy one, those who occasionally splurge, and those who have subscriptions. I’ve been all three at different points in my life. They do hold one’s interest and are addicting. You have to hand it to the writers-they manage to find uplifting aspects and hope in every dramatic saga. Although limitations of “sources”, “acquaintances” and “witnesses” leaves something to be desired as far as credibility, just about every article seems concise, as if there aren’t plans to follow and continue it for the next 22 weeks.

But it’s the photos that draw us in. Women, especially, like to see what the celebrities are wearing and how they look. That’s actually an enigma, since seeing beautiful, surgically enhanced bodies in dresses more expensive than our annual incomes can easily make us feel even more insignificant. In fact, after glancing through one of those rags, I feel like throwing away everything I own. The only thing that keeps me from doing so is that they’re wearing what fits their lifestyle, just as what I wear fits mine. On that note, it’s fun to see the “fashion flops” or even the faces they capture without makeup. Aha! Celebrities are normal, after all. Give us stylists and million dollar budgets and we can all look terrific, too.

I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be in one of those rag sheets, let alone repeatedly on the cover. Paris Hilton wrote in her book that she spends her airplane time reading magazine articles about herself...Yeah, I do the same. That’s always been something I’ve wondered about: do stars in sunglasses actually run to the corner magazine seller and buy all the weekly gossip magazines? Or, do they have their go-fers do it? And do they get just one copy, or more for their friends and families? Among the jet set, is it considered a prestige or embarrassment to make it into a rag sheet, even if they’re on the list of Fashion Flops?

We also want to hear about the perks “celebrities” get even though it's sometimes sickening. In a recent “In Touch” magazine, not one but two actresses were given valuable gifts for the mere fact that they stopped by a “celebrity” gift station, and they asked for additional items for their lovers. Now, if anyone in the world has the means to buy designer sunglasses and fancy grooming products, it’s those who get several million dollars for a couple months of acting. (Why do they give gift bags, worth thousands, at award shows, anyway? Isn’t being there, wearing a $20,000 dress and a million dollars of rented jewelry, enough?) There are also hundreds of reports about celebrities getting breaks from police regarding traffic and parking violations, as well as store owners providing free merchandise. What sticks in my mind are the stories like the one of a mega-rich “princess” showing up without enough cash for a Starbucks latte (and failing to thank the guy who covered it), and then waiting for a good Samaritan to fill up the empty gas tank of her Bentley. Furthermore, when celebs get into really bad situations, they run to rehab. They then have fodder for more news coverage and the chance to pen another autobiography about turning over a new leaf. I’m glad if they are getting help, but it often seems a bit too staged.

Many big stars don’t care about rag sheet coverage. Since stories about them are continuously published, they about her as she juggles her kids on another humanitarian mission? No, those magazines are for us regular folks, to glimpse into the lives of the golden ones-and for some of the golden ones, to remind themselves that they haven’t lost their luster and the ability to evoke interest. We simply want to see what’s going on and what people are wearing. That’s the rag sheets’ sole purpose, and they do it rather well.