FashBlog.com

Anyone who is considering having a child should first go shopping with a teenage girl for jeans, to get an idea of what being a parent is really like. Politicians spend less time deciding to go to war than many girls spend on deciding which jeans to buy.

Recently my daughter and I visited 4 stores within 3 malls; within 3 hours she tried on about 15 pairs of jeans, none of which sufficed. There was what appeared to be enough denim to outfit a small town, but, to her, not one pair was “perfect” enough to wear to her 8th grade classes.

Why are people so picky about jeans? I can see not having the seat bag down or the middle wrap around your hips like a girdle, but it seems that size is the least concern to today’s kids.

I think that a good bit of this has to do with the degree of choice offered to the public-from boot cut to slim fit to relaxed fit to skinny legs to flared legs, it’s overwhelming. Add the various lengths (which usually drag on the floor-do designers think girls young enough to fit into size 0 are going to wear 3 inch heels all the time?) and you add too much selection into the process. Top it off with raggedy holes, patches, studs, lace and fancy stitching and you have the makings of a nightmare.

It used to be that people threw away jeans in better shape than what is now being sold for outrageous prices, so what does that say about us a society? It used to be that wearing jeans tight enough to show panty lines were too tight, but now with thongs, they’re fashionably marketable. It used to be there wasn’t much choice, but back then, jeans looked a lot better than they do now. “Used to be” is the operative phrase when talking about the economics, comfort and use of that lowly cotton denim. I remember an “I Love Lucy” episode from the 50’s where Ethel said something to the effect of, “I’ve never gone downtown in my jeans and I’m not about to now.” Ah-that’s when jeans knew their place!
Adults have other problems in their quest for jeans. Middle aged woman with wide bell bottoms or low hip huggers encourage comments such as “Aren’t you too old to wear that?”, at least from family members. The “relaxed fit” marketed to ladies may hide a slightly sagging derriere or saddlebags, but doesn’t do a person justice if they’ve been religiously working out or watching calories. Unfortunately, other fits may not, either. An older woman doesn’t necessarily want jeans that are too faded because that seems discomfortingly youthful, or ones which are too blue because that seem old-fashioned. Gray and black offer versatility, but they really don’t seem like jeans. Elasticized waists can make an otherwise young looking woman over 35 feel dowdy.

Whatever happened to finding medium blue, fairly straight legged jeans with doubled seams, plenty of pocket space, and wide belt loops, especially on styles that don’t need hemmed? Sometimes I wonder if the jean manufactures believe that shoppers find the basics boring. I would take boring with a good fit over fancy with an odd fit any day. There have been times that I considered a practice done by girls from my high school days, and that is to get into a bathtub wearing jeans, and let them dry on my body for a good fit. But even the prospect of decent fitting jeans isn’t enough to walk around dripping and damp for a few hours.

I currently own exactly one pair of jeans, bought on the assumption that I would take them in for a better fit. Unfortunately, doing so coincided with a 5 pound weight gain. So, I have no jeans to actually wear at this moment. The saga hasn’t ended for my daughter, either. She owns only two pairs of blue jeans and a few colored pairs. So this weekend, mission impossible begins again.
Reading about celebrities who pay over a hundred dollars for jeans, I laugh, but there are moments that I think it may be worth it. Then, I come to my senses.