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Some folks think they look five pounds thinner with a little tan, and that almost every ensemble looks better when one has a little color in their cheeks. It’s hard to argue that a healthy glow on arms and legs seems to perk up the clothes themselves. Whites and pastels appear cooler and brighter, and bronzed skin adds drama to darker colors. Women may feel less “naked” when wearing shorts, mini skirts or sleeveless tops with a slight tan.

We all know the dangers of artificial tanning, as well as the alternatives. We’ve been inundated with sunscreen protection and information about the ravages of skin cancer. However, although there is the argument that no sun exposure is safe, there are still many people who frequent tanning parlors and do so safely. I like to consider myself in that category, because I think humans are meant to get some sun, as vitamin D studies prove. Today’s article is addressing people like myself, who believe that they can tan minimally as well as safely.

I’ve visited a tanning salon during the last 2 winters. Before you cringe and question my sense, let me say that I am probably the most conservative tanner around. I buy a 10 session package that lasts me from November to May-which works out to going once every 3 weeks. I choose the lowest level of power, don’t always stay for the entire 15 minutes, and leave the top open a bit. So, you ask, why even bother? For me, it’s beneficial; my skin isn’t shocked once May arrives, and it seems to improve my skin. (Luckily, I have olive skin that never burns, but if I did not have this type, I probably would not go.) But tanning this way gives me some laughs:

My local salon had some specials this winter. First was a special $2 tan during my city’s football games (Pgh. Steelers), “except for half time”. Now, let’s think about this for a moment…How many people do you know would jump up from the couch in the middle of a football game, drive to the nearest tanning salon, strip down to their birthday suit, lay there for 15 minutes, and get back home before the start of the 3rd quarter? This special is obviously for folks who don’t care about the game, and use the time to avoid the crowds at shopping centers. In that case, they won’t care whether it’s half time or not…

The second reason to roll my eyes is the names for the fancy and overpriced products these places hawk. (In case you didn’t know, you aren’t supposed to use regular tanning lotions because they gunk up the plastic beds.) So, they sell “accelerators” and “enhancers”. Almost all have exotic, sensual names which are almost embarrassing to request. When I asked about the advantages, one clerk told me that I wouldn’t have the smell of “burning skin.” Ew…….

Third is anxiety that I haven’t locked the door to my cube and that someone will burst in while I’m in that defenseless state. Even though I make sure that I do lock it, there is always a moment when I’m laying there and it sounds like someone is trying the knob-although it’s next door. (With the fan going and the music speaker next to my ear, it’s hard to hear much clearly.)

Two years ago, my introduction to this was in a stand-up booth, which I really liked. I could stand further away from the bulbs and turn at my own pace. It was roomy, and time seemed to fly by. But they discontinued it; apparently 99% of tanners want to lie and relax. Well, that’s all well and good as long as one doesn’t have a fear of feeling like they’re in a coffin. (I prefer to pretend I’m in one of those freezing chambers that the Smith family occupied on “Lost in Space”.)

Tanning salons should be approached with caution and respect. Safe salon tanning may prevent sunburn by limiting exposure, will definitely remove the white patches bathing suits cause, and take way less time than hours outside. You will probably also feel that everything you wear looks better…but be careful.