What Not To Wear To A Wedding Or Funeral
1 Comments Published by Cher on Wednesday, October 04, 2006 at 3:10 PM.
While weddings are a pleasant part of life and well, funerals, usually not so much but there is certain decorum in the way people should dress while attending one or the other.
A wedding is a decidedly happy occasion, but there are definitely some unwritten rules that need to be followed when dressing for one.
In order to dress appropriately, you need to plan ahead. Rifle through your closet and see if you own anything suitable that can be worn. If not, go shopping. Try not to do this the morning of the wedding! If it is a must attend wedding (also known as a duty wedding of say, family members or family friends, colleagues from work etc.) you need to wear something that is fairly sedate. A good guide to what you should wear is to take a look at the invitation. How does the invitation look? If it is formally done on heavy cream coloured paper with fancy writing, that might be a hint for more formal attire. If you are lucky, the invitation may actually mention what you need to wear. One wedding I heard about, the guests were invited to witness the wedding at a church, then to a backyard bbq for the reception. These days being forearmed is being forewarned!
Also, you might think about a) the weather and b) where the wedding is. The last wedding my husband and I attended was in a church with no air conditioning in the middle of July. Fortunately, I had bought a sleeveless crepe dress and strappy sandals and for me, it was not too bad. If the evening gets cool, you will want to take a little jacket or sweater with you for later. If the wedding is outside, carefully watch the weather network before hand. You might want to think twice about that flowy gown that could get caught in the wind. You get the picture, plan ahead for the wedding!
If the wedding is a more formal occurrence, you will want to wear something that is a little more classic in design such as a dressy or cocktail suit. You will need to wear a slightly more sophisticated look than an afternoon wedding, whereas a summer skirt and a sweater set will do. Black tie is a whole different story. The black tie wedding will require a tux (remember not to wear one before 6:00 PM) and for the ladies, a floor length dress is required.
When it comes to shoes, you will want to consider a few things. If it is an outside wedding and has rained recently, your heels will sink into the ground and make it difficult to walk. Is there dancing? If you have killer heels, you might want to take along another pair of shoes. I actually did this for a wedding, I had sprained my ankle the month before and had a hard time negotiating in heels. I wore heels for the wedding part and took flats for the reception where my hubby and I were the MCs (which required a lot of standing!) So there are factors to keep in mind even with shoes for a wedding.
There are definite no no’s that cannot or should not be worn at a wedding such as white (why compete with the bride? It is her day, not yours); anything too sexy; black to a daytime wedding; jeans; anything that is ill-fitting (too big, too tight) or with stains or holes.
On the other hand, funerals are a much more solemn occasion than weddings are, but yet, there are rules on what you should and should not wear at a funeral.
It does not seem that there is such a strict dress code as there used to be for funerals. It used to be only acceptable for mourners to wear dark colours such as navy or black, but it would appear that grays and khakis have been thrown into that mix. If you are a man, a blue blazer and khakis are acceptable, just make sure you wear a sombre tie. The key here is to show respect both for the deceased and the surviving family.
It also depends on the person who has passed. If he was a biker, it would seem silly to wear a suit, right? For a funeral, ladies can wear what ever feels comfortable. It does not have to be a skirt or a dress. If you have a black pantsuit, you could wear that. Sometimes, it is a good thing to reflect the likes and dislikes of the person who has passed. Recently, here in Canada, there was a shooting in a high school in Montreal and there was a lone victim. Rather than wear black to her funeral, the mourners wore pink to show respect for the girl who died (pink was her favourite colour). If the deceased always wore Hawaiian shirts, you could show your respect by donning one yourself. Or I have heard of a mourner wearing an outfit because the deceased thought the person looked great in it. In regards to funerals, just let common sense rule your judgement when it comes to clothes.
Clothing for a funeral is somewhat less restrictive than a wedding though just as important, it requires some thought, some planning and if you do that, you will look great!
In most circles, even if the invitation says " Black Tie" a tux is optional but make sure to wear a dark suit and tie. For women, a dressy cocktail dress is normally adequate. Do not go floor length unless 1) this type of dress is common at Black tie weddings in your circle or 2)the bride requests it 3) you have the confidence to be the only woman, aside from the wedding party, to be dressed correctly. If in doubt, call the mother of the bride or the bride herself to clarify the dress code. Miss Manners would not be pleased at this sad state of affairs but that is the way it is for the vast number of Americans.