FashBlog.com

Recently in our homeschooling coursework, I decided it was time for my twelve and thirteen year old daughters to have a course on charm, beauty and fashion. Much like their mom, they are somewhat tomboys at heart. We have always encouraged them to climb trees, participate in sports and wear blue jeans and hiking boots; after all, we live in rural Maine. Yet, when I was growing up in Colorado, land of more blue jeans and hiking boots, my mother forced (yes, forced) me to take a class on charm. It was horrifying to me, as I had to show up on the first day of class in high heels, stockings, and a dress at age thirteen. But I met many other nice girls who were about as eager to be there as I was. In our collective misery, we learned to walk and sit with good posture, to put on make up properly, and we learned all about our colors and how we should dress to be attractive, yet modest.

So this school year, I purchased a charm book from a homeschool curriculum catalog. On the first day of school, my daughters were actually a bit excited about taking the course. We began reading through the book and found it to be quite boring. It was written many years ago, and it seemed like it was written for very young girls, perhaps five or six year olds, rather than middle schoolers. But not only was the writing out of date and lame, the content was also a bit disturbing. For instance, the author spoke about how girls should stay fit and healthy by eating a healthy diet, exercise, etc., with which I agreed completely. Yet, in giving her suggestions, she talked about how unattractive it is to be chubby, and other such things. The use of the word, "chubby," to me, was outdated and even offensive. She also talked in other ways about how physical appearance is of utmost importance. While I agree that we should all look our best as well as be clean, fit, healthy, and such, we should never judge people solely on their physical appearance. Needless to say, we ditched the book after only about two weeks.

But the book really got me to thinking. Thankfully, my mother had taught me all about fashion, fitness and charm, not only because of the course she put me in, but also by her own teaching; and I realized that I had actually done the same for my daughters. I also realized something I already knew; that in the 21st century, a girl or a woman can be very attractive, feminine and modest in blue jeans and hiking boots. Dresses, stockings and high heels are not required. I also realized that by simply preparing healthy meals and having healthy food in our home, I had taught my daughters about proper eating habits. Our life-long encouragement of them to participate in sports, including soccer, basketball, cross country running, and ice skating, has kept them healthy and fit. And blue jeans aside, my daughters know when it is appropriate to put on a dress and stockings; they are both quite tall, so heels are optional, but they know what proper shoes look like.

But perhaps most importantly, my daughters are not judgmental of other people based on what they wear. They have many friends, both homeschooled and those who go to traditional school. Many of the girls are very fashion conscious, but only in limited ways. Consequently, my daughters have friends from all the typical middle school "groups" and "cliques." They have friends who only wear preppy pastels, other friends who wear nothing but sports paraphernalia, and still others, many others, who are into the popular gothic look with black make up and shredded clothing. Although I used to be one of the kids who wanted so much to belong to a specific group, my daughters are friendly with all the groups and view them all equally. The only time this is a problem is if they want to have a party and invite all their friends; often the different groups of friends do not want to be together, but if that is our biggest problem, then charm wise, I think we are doing ok.