FashBlog.com

I just received the latest issue of Harper's Bazaar and thank goodness they have instructions on what to wear at any age. Having taken a pass on fashion for the last several years, I was uncertain what I should be wearing now that I had reached the advanced age of 43. Vogue's issue on the same topic only addressed what ballet dancers in their 40s should wear. Bazaar has let me know that I should be wearing English manor plaids and timeless classics. Their fashion writer, Merle Ginsberg, confirmed now is the time to " factor in good taste and a dose of pragmatism" when I make my fashion decisions. My instincts have been affirmed, it is time to realize I am not as young as I once was.


This knowledge comforts me since I do not have the body of a 20-something and I would look ridiculous in the same attire as Mary Kate and Ashley. Currently what used to be known as " micro minis" are flooding the runways. I am not talking about a skirt that hits above the knee but rather one that hits right below the behind. The type of mini Sharon Stone is pictured wearing in the Ginsberg article. Stone ( age 48) is quoted as saying " I'm going to wear the shortest skirts possible as long as they look good on me". I have to wonder as to the wisdom of Stone's attitude. I know my mother did not like my indulgence in minis ten years ago, when I was in my early 30s. In fact my shrink( one of many) wrote in one of his assessments that my pleated mini skirts were not appropriate attire for a doctor's appointment, and I even wore pantyhose or tights. What would he say about Sharon Stone today?


Well I know what I would tell Sharon Stone today. You still have the legs but it may be time to show them in something different than a mini, no matter what the designers are showing on the runway. I can hear shocked gasps from the over 40 and fit crowd who say you are only as old as you feel and if exercise can not solve it, Botox can. Well I am going to share a little story to illustrate why I would give this advice. You decide whether it's good advice or not.


One of my husbands' most vivid memories of his senior year in high school was the mother of one of his classmates. She volunteered at his all male school in bright blond hair, garish make-up, serious diamonds, and ultra mini skirts. This was 1969, so I am sure she was on the cutting edge of fashion in our conservative Midwestern town. What I'm not sure about is if her son is still in therapy over her fashion decisions.


Memories of this woman still make my husband laugh. Apparently all the boys in the class of 1969 did a fair amount of laughing about this woman . My husband will not confirm whether they actively ridiculed this woman to her son, but he will confirm the son was embarrassed by the whole situation. More than 35 years later, this woman's attempt to be fashionable and sexy still makes my husband chuckle and is one of the clearest memories he has of high school.


If you do not yet get the point of this story, I will spell it out: No one wants to be the woman in this story. You do not want to be forever remembered as the symbol of a woman vainly clinging to youth. You do not want your attempts at fashion to still produce laughter 35 years later. You want the maturity, that time has brought, to give you the wisdom to know when to leave certain styles to the young. When less is not more. You do not want to be your sons' worst nightmare.


So what should we wear throughout the decades? Kblogs' guide to fashion is as follows:

Late teens- 20s: Whatever you want. You will make young clothes hip and old clothes young. You have something money cannot buy, youth. Your skin is still beautiful and resilient. Your muscle tone still firm. Youth glows and it is a glow that cannot be purchased. Enjoy. You have what everyone in our youth oriented culture really wants and it is fleeting.


30s: Soccer moms you really are beautiful. A woman in her 30s has a mature beauty that is truly lovely. Many women in this age group are emerging from "babyland" and are once again discovering they are women, not just mothers. The average age an American woman has her first child is roughly 25 . By your 30s the kids are a little older, less labor intensive, but still the focus of your life. More importantly, they are still young enough to not notice if you wear a mini. Do it. Do not worry what your mother thinks. You are hot. The boy at the grocery store and your husbands' friends notice. Have fun but remember, the PTA can be a chilly place if you steal all the men.


Forties and beyond: We should not be wearing what our teen age daughters are wearing. Forget the Total cereal commercial where the mother loses weight and reclaims her jeans from her daughter. The mother looks ridiculous in the outfit and we have to wonder whether she really wants her daughters' teenage life, not just the jeans. Is this who we want to be?


We are grown-ups. We get to wear grown up clothes. Classics with flare. Sumptuous fabrics. Clothes that announce that we have arrived. Power clothes, even in casual wear. If power clothes are not your style, bohemian is an option. Tie dye. Boutique. Long flowing skirts and sandals. Interesting, challenging clothes that state our refusal to follow the dictates of fashion and let the world know there is something mildly subversive about us. (Flowing skirts also cover a multitude of figure flaws that seem to be a bit more difficult to non surgically remove once you are 40 .) Clothes that reveal the confidence that we have earned during our time on the planet. (Even flowing skirts can be slit up the side or cropped at the knee for those who still have the legs to carry it off). Sexy, tasteful clothes for the women 40 and beyond are available. The challenge is to realize that what looks sexy on the 20-30 year old woman does not look the same on the 40 and beyond woman. The ability to tastefully choose fashion determines an older woman's style and her ability to "wow" a room.


Sexiness does not die at 40. Each year the Sharon Stones of the world are showing everyone older women are sexy, powerful, interesting people with unique appeal. However, competing with the mini skirt crowd or wearing a teenagers clothing does not work for most women over 40. Most women will become an object of ridicule, not just to teenage boys, but also to their own peer group . When women vainly hold to the illusion that you are only as old as you feel, and then dress accordingly, we become that woman who still amuses the class of 1969. The woman we do not want to be.


Wisdom should be worn after 40. So I think Sharon Stone should show a little wisdom. Sure her legs are sexy, for a woman almost 50. I just think she is quickly moving closer to becoming a woman who tries to look 20 , vainly clinging to the notion that youth can be bought. I think the super short mini skirt no longer looks good on her. She is a sexy woman in her own right, she does not need to dress like her daughter, if she has one. I think her decision to wear the shortest skirts possible is not wise and that is a fashion mistake for the woman 40 and beyond. Wisdom is the must have fashion accessory for the woman over 40 and she should never leave the house without it.