FashBlog.com

Let's take a moment to examine the new trends in clothing. I am referring more specifically to the trend I see in my son, who is 17, and his friends.
There are apparently certain rules to be followed when choosing clothes and this is the way I believe these rules are laid out.
First of all your pants are not to fit properly. To accomplish this, you simply take your waist size, add three or four inches, and buy the pants with that waistline. This allows you to constantly have your boxer underwear in view, and creates the unconscious habit of always stopping to hitch up your pants before they fall completely to the floor. Of course, if you can manage to keep them up in front, while letting the waistline form a semicircle under the cheeks of your buttocks, you have mastered the art of wearing pants properly.
Follow the same formula when choosing the length. The bottom of your pants leg should be in continual contact with the ground. Should they be too short to scuff on the sidewalk you should immediately a) throw them away, or b) pull them down so that more of your underwear is exposed for public view. Belts are forbidden. However, should you feel the need for some type of device to help hold your pants up, a short length of speaker wire passed through two front loops and tied in a knot is acceptable.
Secondly, the most highly regarded form of shirt is the "wife beater" undershirt. This does two things. It sets you apart as a tough guy, since you wear it regardless of the temperature outside, and it also adds in the exposure of your boxer briefs. Simply tuck the undershirt into the briefs.
Shoes should consist of a set of slippers with no backs. Hopefully you've chosen a set of furry slippers that look ridiculous. The more ridiculous the better.
Hats are never to be worn correctly. The last time I saw my son wear a baseball cap correctly he was 13 years old and actually playing baseball. Since then, all baseball caps are to be worn either at 90 degrees or completely reversed on your head. Baseball caps with obscenities written on them are greatly preferred. Do not be caught wearing a baseball cap for its intended purpose of keeping the sun out of your eyes or you will be banned from coolness forever.
Girls have a different set of rules. In the case of young ladies, pants should be worn as low cut as possible also, however unlike the boys, they should be molded to your skin. If you appear to have been dipped to the waist in denim paint you've got it about right.
Thong panties should be visible whenever you make the slightest bend. I believe the showing of boxers and thongs is akin to the mating colors of different types of birds. It's a kind of silent courting ritual that anyone over thirty is unaware of. But that's just my theory.
A girl's top should also be as tight as possible. They should be high cut to expose as much belly as possible, regardless of whether the young lady has been blessed with abdominal fitness or not.
I look at these trends and laugh. Every generation has its thing. I can remember my father laughing about bell bottoms, fringed vests, and long hair. In fact, when I look back at pictures of myself in those days, I laugh too. I think I'll get my camera out and take a few pictures of my son and his friends. Twenty years from now he'll probably be able to use a good laugh.